


You're Writing Lines About Me

by rabbithole26



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 19:26:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4717691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabbithole26/pseuds/rabbithole26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Camila's never gotten to see anything that Lauren writes, or draws, or whatever she does on the pages on the worn leather book, but she knows that whatever is in there must be of great importance. Lauren is fiercely protective of a lot of things in her life, but she’s never seen Lauren snap as quickly as she will whenever someone tries to see what’s inside those pages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Writing Lines About Me

Camila knows that there are probably not many people in the world who feel at home in a hotel room, but after the past three years that she’s had, that’s exactly how she feels whenever she steps into a four hundred square foot space.

 

She likes it because no matter where she is, the rooms all seem similar enough, down to the plain white sheets and towels. The only constants in her life seem to always be inside the walls of these rooms. Her favorite constant of all is the fact that no matter what, Lauren Jauregui is bound to be sitting on the bed opposite  hers, scribbling in her journal.

 

She’s never gotten to see anything that Lauren writes, or draws, or whatever she does on the pages on the worn leather book, but she knows that whatever is in there must be of great importance. Lauren is fiercely protective of a lot of things in her life, but she’s never seen Lauren snap as quickly as she will whenever someone tries to see what’s inside those pages.

 

Camila gave up trying a long time ago, but it doesn’t mean she hasn’t remained curious. She thinks that if she had one wish in life, it would probably be to read that damn journal. But then again, it’s probably just recaps of the time Lauren has spent with her various boyfriends over the years, and if that is the case, Camila would rather read through her parent’s sexts. Ew.

 

It’s not that Camila always hates Lauren’s revolving door of guys, they aren’t always _that_ bad, it’s just that she’s been in love with her friend ever since she can remember.

 

Friend. Bandmate. Coworker. There are a lot of things Camila can call Lauren, but she never thinks any of them sound right.

 

...

 

“Camz, come out here and sit with me,” Lauren’s raspy voice murmurs from the balcony as she flicks the lighter in her hand, igniting the end of the cigarette she shouldn’t be smoking.

 

They’re somewhere in Texas today, after finishing their fourth show in a row. Tomorrow is a day off, finally.

 

“No,” the younger girl replies, still perched on her bed inside the room, “You’ll make my hair smell like smoke.”

 

Lauren only smokes when they have the next day off and she only smokes one cigarette at a time, its her way of telling herself she isn’t being stupid smoking them in the first place.

 

“Come on, just come out here.”

 

Camila ignores the older girl and continues to read. When she glances towards the balcony out of the corner of her eye, she see’s Lauren sigh and flick her unfinished cigarette over the railing, before entering the room once more and sitting down next to the younger girl.

 

“You made me waste that, you know.”

 

“You shouldn’t smoke in the first place,” Camila replies, “besides, you could have stayed out there by yourself.”

 

Lauren leans her head against Camila’s shoulder, “Yeah, but I wanted to be with you.”

 

If Camila had a journal, she knows she would write about these moments, but she knows that this probably won’t make it into Lauren’s. Camila doubts that she ever makes it into that journal.

...

 

When Camila turns eighteen, Taylor Swift throws her the most perfect party she could ever ask for.

 

She wishes all of her girls were there, but they have always tried not to communicate during their breaks, no matter how small, so that they all have time to spend with the people they don’t see very often.

 

By the end of the night, Camila is significantly buzzed but she still manages to pull Taylor aside for a moment.

 

“Look, the cakes, all of the food, the drinks, please let me pay you back for some of this,” Camila giggles, trying to throw some cash into Taylor’s hands.

 

“Absolutely not!” The blonde replies, “It’s your birthday. You know, I’m not even supposed to tell you this, but none of us ended up paying for it anyways.”

 

“What do you mean?” Camila asks, furrowing her eyebrows.

 

“Lauren paid for everything,” the taller girl admits, “I mean, I called her just to ask what your favorite kind of cake was, but she helped me pick everything out and took care of it all. She said she wanted you to have the perfect birthday.”

 

“Seriously? She did all of that?”

 

“Yeah, she did. And I told her she should come, but she said something about how it was against the rules, whatever that means. She said she wanted you to have time with your friends,” Taylor nods.

 

Camila pouts before flipping through the contacts of her phone, “I’m calling her, screw the rules.”

 

There’s a crash from the kitchen, and Taylor looks over to see Selena Gomez falling off of her chair and onto the floor.

 

“Okay, friend down. I’m gonna go help her, she’s always the first to get sloppy. Say goodbye before you try to run off with Jauregui, okay?”

 

Camila nods and flashes her older friend a thumbs up as she waits for Lauren to pick up her call.

 

“Taylor told you didn’t she?” Lauren’s voice echoes from the speaker of the iPhone seconds later.

 

“You didn’t have to do any of that. But I’m glad you did,” Camila slurs slightly, realizing it’s definitely time for her to go home.

 

“I’m glad you had fun. You shouldn’t be talking to me until Thursday though, remember?”

 

“I don’t care. Come pick me up.”

 

“Doesn’t Taylor have like, sixteen bedrooms for you to chose from?” Lauren replies playfully.

 

“I don’t _care_ ,” Camila whines, “It’s my birthday and I want to see you. I want you to pick me up and take me home.”

 

“I wouldn’t consider our hotel ‘home’ you know,” Lauren chuckles, “But I guess you’re right. Anything for the birthday girl. I’ll be there in about a half an hour, okay?”

 

Camila smiles, “Okay. See you soon.”

 

As she’s waiting for Lauren she decides Taylor was right about it being the perfect birthday.

 

...

 

Lauren and Normani’s favorite part about being in London is that they can legally drink. Camila’s favorite part is that the hotel sheets are the same shade of white that they are back in the states.

 

She still goes out with them though. She sips on the same vodka soda the entire night and talks excitedly with the boys from another band that met them there, just like she’s expected to. She watches one of them hang all over Lauren and she watches Lauren do nothing to dissuade him. Things like this don’t hurt nearly as much as they used to since Camila has gotten used to seeing Lauren with other people. She’s almost comfortable with it now. Almost. She still has a moderately good time.

 

Lauren stumbles back to their room with her at the end of the night though, which is something that actually surprises her.

 

“Why are you not nearly as drunk as I am?” the older girl slurs out, while she launches her heels across the tiny room.

 

Camila smirks, “Because I’m the boring one, remember?”

 

Lauren walks across the room, stopping in front of the younger girl, and turns so that her back is facing her. She carefully scoops her hair over her shoulder, and Camila takes this as a cue to help unzip the dress, which Lauren promptly steps out of.

 

Camila perfected the art of not staring long ago, so she turns around and starts to change into comfier clothes herself, before jumping into her bed.

 

“How do you do it?” Lauren mumbles after they turn the lights off, “How are you so comfortable in hotel rooms?”

 

“I don’t know,” Camila murmurs.

 

“They make me feel trapped,” the older girl replies, and Camila can hear the sheets of the other girl’s bed rustling around.

 

“Why didn’t you go stay the night with Louis then?”

 

She feels a dip in her bed and suddenly, Lauren’s voice is whispering right in her ear.

 

“Because it’s time to grow up. It’s time to figure out who I am.”

 

Camila is exhausted and she doesn’t understand what that has to do with a dude from One Direction, so she doesn’t respond.

 

Right before she drifts off to sleep though, she hears Lauren whisper again.

 

“I think I’m done with boys, Camz.”

 

She doesn’t take it literally.

...

 

When Camila starts hanging out with Hailee Steinfeld she can’t deny that the other girl is cute. She’s carefree and light and honest. And she was nominated for an oscar at like, age thirteen, so she’s pretty talented too.

 

Camila’s pretty sure that Hailee flirts with her but she’s also never been down this road before, so she isn’t sure if she’s imagining it or not.

 

(Just like she used to wonder if she was imagining it with Lauren, but nothing ever happened, so she assumed she was.)

 

They’re on the second leg of the reflection tour, in New York, but they have a day off tomorrow and Hailee is in town for some promotional event for her new movie, so she asks Camila to go to dinner with her the next night.

 

Lauren is in her own little world on her laptop and Camila’s in the middle of organizing her suitcase, when the actress calls her back less than a minute after asking her to dinner, so the Cuban throws her on speaker phone.

 

“Miss me already?” Camila jokes, glancing at Lauren out of the corner of her eye, who is still scrolling through Tumblr.

 

“Actually I just wanted to clear something up, I want to be upfront with you,” Hailee’s voice echoes through the room.

 

“Okay...what’s up?” the younger girl questions, noticing that Lauren has stilled her movements across the room.

 

“I really like you, Camila. Like, I want dinner tomorrow to be a date. So if that changes things for you, and you don’t want to go anymore, I get it. But, I hope that you do...still want to go, I mean,” Hailee rambles, her nervousness apparent even through the tiny speaker.

 

Lauren’s head whips up at the same exact time Camila lunges for her phone, taking it off of speaker mode and holding it to her ear.

 

“Hold on,” she mumbles as she heads towards the balcony, giving Lauren a sheepish look on her way out. Once she’s got the door shut behind her, she speaks again.

 

“Sorry about that, I’m good now.”

 

Hailee is quick to respond, “I’m so sorry, I totally freaked you out didn’t I? Look I just-”

 

“I still want to go,” Camila interrupts her with certainty.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. I do.”

...

 

Lauren is waiting for her when she steps back inside, an expectant look on her face.

 

“Well? How did that go?” the older girl inquires, “What did you tell her?”

 

Camila sighs, “I told her to pick me up at seven.”

 

The mood in the room instantly shifts. She can see Lauren’s jaw clench before she speaks again, “So you’re going on a date with her.”

 

“Yes?” Camila questions. She’s confused as to why Lauren seems pissed off.

 

“Since when do you date girls?”

 

The younger girl’s eyes go wide at Lauren’s tone, “Aren’t you the one who always says people shouldn’t label themselves? Why are you being weird about this?”

 

Lauren stays quiet for a moment before she speaks again, almost as if she’s trying to figure out what she wants to say. Her eyes are flitting around the room, looking anywhere but at the girl in front of her before she finally responds, “I thought we told each over everything. Why wouldn’t you tell me you liked girls?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe Hailee is just the first girl I felt something for,” the young girl snaps in reply. She doesn’t know why she’s being so snarky about this but she feels like Lauren is attacking her, so her natural reaction is to get defensive.

 

For a moment, the silence between them is deafening. For a moment, Lauren looks like she’s about to cry. But then that moment vanishes just as quickly as it came.

 

“I’m staying with Ally,” Lauren mumbles, grabbing her laptop and ripping her phone charger out of the wall. She pushes her way past the smaller girl and slams the door behind her.

 

Camila doesn’t understand why she has this sinking feeling that she just made a huge mistake. But she does.

 

...

 

Lauren doesn’t come back to the room until exactly 7:01pm the next evening, and Camila is still inside putting the finishing touches on her makeup since Hailee had let her know she was running a little late.

 

The older girl doesn’t even acknowledge her though, instead she makes her away across the room and begins to rummage around in her suitcase, only stopping once her journal is in her hand. Lauren sits down on her bed and begins writing feverishly without giving the other girl so much as a glance.

 

Camila sighs before throwing her lipstick back in her clutch and exiting the room, not even bothering to say goodbye. She rather wait downstairs than be stuck in that room.

 

She’s sitting in the lobby for a few minutes when she realizes that she left her phone upstairs. Groaning, she makes her way back up the elevator, and prepares once again to deal with unreasonably-bitchy-Lauren. Once she cracks the door open though, she realizes she won’t have to.

 

Lauren is out on the balcony, with her back to the door, and Camila can see the smoke rising into the air near the older girl’s head. Rolling her eyes internally, she promptly makes her way to the nightstand and picks up her phone, tossing it into her clutch, but before she can leave again, something else catches her eye.

 

Lauren’s journal is lying on the opposite bed, open and unguarded.

 

Camila knows she shouldn’t. But she does anyway.

 

There’s a sketch on the page that’s open and it takes Camila’s brain a second to process that she’s looking at a drawing of...her. Like a mirror image staring back at her.

 

Lauren drew Camila and Camila has no idea what that means. She flips ahead a few pages, noticing that most of them are dated and she sees her name a few times, but doesn’t take the time to read any of the passages. She starts flipping backwards through the pages instead, stopping briefly when she finds several pages with the same exact sentence written over and over again on them.

 

_I love her._

 

She keeps flipping backwards, watching the dates get older and older. She still sees her name on a lot of the pages until she finally gets to the first page of the journal. It’s dated the first day that they had boot camp for The X Factor.

 

_I met a girl today. Her name is Camila and she is beautiful._

Camila hears a loud slamming noise and looks up just in time to see a furious looking Lauren snatch the book out of her hands.

 

“What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing?” the older girl spits out.

 

“Lauren...I just...I didn’t mean...” Camila tries to choke out.

 

Lauren’s face is bright red as she grips the leather bound book tightly in her hands, “Get out.”

 

“Lauren,” Camila tries again upon seeing tears start to form in the other girl’s eyes.

 

“Just go on your fucking date, Camila. _Go_.”

 

Camila has never seen Lauren this upset, not once, during the years that they have known each other, so she does the only thing she can think to do. She leaves.

 

...

 

Camila makes it through maybe three whole minutes in Hailee’s car before she bursts into tears herself, and somehow the girl next to her seems to understand.

 

They don’t go to dinner. They go back to the actress’s hotel room, where she orders a ton of room service and listens to Camila vent about her entire saga with Lauren. From the day they first met, to all of Lauren’s boyfriends, to Camila being absolutely in love with her the entire time, to seeing Lauren’s journal.

 

“This must be the worst first date you’ve ever been on, huh?” Camila manages to croak out after she’s spilled her guts for the past few hours.

 

Hailee laughs, “Honestly? I’ve had worse I think. At least we can be friends. At least it wasn’t awkward silence the entire time.”

 

Camila manages to laugh for a moment before she lets out a heavy sigh, “I don’t know what to do.”

 

“She knows you saw her journal, just tell her you feel the same,” the other girl says, like it’s the easiest option on the world.

 

“What if I misinterpreted it though? Like, why would she spend three years writing about me but date a bunch of guys? Why wouldn’t she tell me how she felt?”

 

“Well, why didn’t _you_ tell her how _you_ felt?”

 

“That’s different,” Camila huffs, “She always had boyfriends! And I never went around dating people.”

 

“People do stupid things when they’re scared and they do equally stupid things when they feel trapped. Being stuck in a band with the girl you’re secretly in love with sounds a lot like both of those scenarios to me,” Hailee replies, “It was probably just her way of coping.”

 

Camila sure hopes so.

...

 

When Camila finally returns to her own room, she imagines several scenarios that will likely play out when she opens the door. She knows how Lauren gets when she’s mad so she figures she’s going to walk in on Lauren in bed with a guy, or Lauren drinking with her friends, or just an empty room. All of them would be equally discouraging.

 

Which is why it’s surprising that Camila finds Lauren sitting on the bed in sweats, headphones in, watching something on her laptop.

 

She doesn’t acknowledge the younger girl’s presence though, so Camila sits down next to her, gently removing one of her earbuds.

 

“I’m trying to watch something,” Lauren mutters, “ I didn’t think you’d be back tonight.”

 

“I wanted to talk to you.”

 

“Why don’t you go talk to Hailee,” the older girl spits back.

 

“Lauren...”

 

“Look, whatever you thought you saw-”

 

“Lauren,” the younger girl says again, louder, successfully shutting up the girl next to her this time, “If there’s something you want to tell me, now is your chance.”

 

It’s eerily quiet in the small room as Lauren fidgets with the hem of her sweater, unable to meet the other girl’s gaze.

 

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Camz,” she replies, her voice low and raspy, the anger gone.

 

Camila sighs, “Do you know how nervous I was to say hi to you the first day we met? I was a mess. There was just something about you. And then suddenly we were friends, and I watched you go through so many things and go through so many boyfriends. But I was always happy as long as you were happy. So if there’s something I need to know, I need you to tell me. I need you to say it. And if there’s not...then I’ll still be your best friend when you wake up tomorrow.”

 

Lauren runs a hand through her hair before she speaks, “You know how important my journal is to me? Well, I’ve written about you in it almost every day, for as long as I can remember ever writing in a journal.”

 

“Why?”

 

It’s the million-dollar question lingering in the air, but Camila needs her to say it out loud. She’s tired of trying to figure Lauren out. She deserves this one easy answer.

 

The older girl finally manages to look her in the eyes before she responds, “Because I am hopelessly in love with you, despite all of my best efforts not to be.”

 

It’s easy, Camila thinks to herself as she leans over and kisses Lauren for the first time. They may be the most complicated pair she can think of at the moment, but in this moment it’s easy.

 

She also thinks that’s how you know something is right.

 

It’s not her first kiss, and it’s definitely not Lauren’s, but it’s the first kiss that matters.

 

The rest will matter too, she’s sure of it.

...

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I spent way too much time listening to Room 93 so I wanted to see if I could write a story set almost entirely in hotel rooms. So like, idk what this is but here ya go. Kisses.


End file.
